The Bad, Unacceptable ldea of Choosing Friends in Place of Parents-By Wisdom Oniekpar Ikuli
NEGATIVE IMPLICATIONS OF CHOICES THAT YOUNG PEOPLE MAKE TODAY!
This topic is not only important, it is also very timely considering prevalent realities especially the way and manner societies now place so much premium on material wealth and acquisitions.
Today, many young do not know the value of little beginnings in life. Everyone is praying and striving on how to make it very big in society. Many do not believe or want to go through the planting season in life, they want to skip it and just jump to harvest time and season. But where will they harvest if they have not sown or planted?
MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AND UNFORGETTABLE ENCOUNTER IN PORT HARCOURT
My parents lived in one of the abandoned property (yard) in Port Harcourt precisely in Mile 2 Diobu where I was born.
For those who know Port Harcourt very well, they can attest that the difference between Diobu and Old GRA then was like Light and Dark. Streets in Diobu lacked countless basic social amenities even though it was a well planned area by the Alfred Diette-Spiff first military administration and Chief (Sen) Dr. Melford Obiene Okilo administration.
Old Government Reserved (Residential) Area (GRA) was populated by the elites. For instance it was only people in GRA, Amadi Flat, Shell Residential Area and few selected areas in Port Harcourt that had access to telephones which were mainly Landlines.
At a point there were only 700,000 Landline Telephones in the whole of Nigeria and only 400,000 were active. Out of the above half or more were owned by companies and government offices and institutions.
Those who lived in Diobu never had access to telephones except some elites that lived in D/Line and those inside the campus of the Rivers State University of Science and Technology (RSUST).
But in the midst of the wide socio-economic and even political gap that existed between both social classes, the people particularly children that were born in Diobu never gave up. They were focused, visionary, resilient, smart, intelligent, productive and highly resourceful compared to their counterparts in GRA.
The prevalent irony is that over the years, there is a switch that I can even describe as the Unholy Exchange that happened between Africans and the Western Missionaries who took our abundant natural resources and gave us their Bible.
Today all the GRAs in Port Harcourt and other choice areas are populated by majority of the children of the rural dwellers. Those who grew up in Diobu have become very rich and prominent and bought over most of the properties of the elites who once lived there. Most of those elites have died and their over pampered children could not maintain those properties. Many of those privileged children have also died, while many are living in misery after the death of their parents. They cannot sustain the wealth and great legacies of their parents due to lack of street credibility, wiseness and survival strategies that the children of the poor learnt while growing up and they are now leveraging on them.
I had some friends in GRA who always came to visit me in my Unit (Diobu). As young teenagers all our attentions were geared towards impressing people especially in society particularly the opposite sex. At that age, we felt people were always looking at us so, we concentrated so much attention on what people thought or said about us.
The parents of one of my friends had many cars and my guy learnt how to drive at a very young age. So, he will come to my area with our other friends who were always well dressed. There are days my guys can visit my place three times and they will change three (3) different cars. They will come with one, I will roll with them and then go to their house and return with another and before dark, we will come with another.
We devoted so much time trying to impress young guys in the area even though my dad was almost one of the poorest in the street. I tried to live on borrowed glory in company of friends.
One day my dad sat me down and enquired about my friends and I told him everything I know about them especially about their rich parents. After listening to me, he gave me a choice to make. He asked me to choose between him and those my friends.
Without thinking twice, I told him I do not have any other place or family outside my home, so I choose him and I will stop that company. My friends were very cultured and well brought gentle guys, but my dad was not actually comfortable with their presence especially when he does not own a car and considering the dirty Street and even one room apartment that was partitioned that we lived in.
From that very day I asked my friends to stop coming to my house and I never went to their houses again.
The above narration happened over thirty years ago, I am 48years and I can make bold that whatever reasons that prompted my dad to make me to take the then decision was for my good. Today, I have covered so many kilometers in life. Most of those my teenage friends now look up to me.
I made some hard decisions back then which are helping to guide me in the journey of life. I resolved never to live in a free apartment, smoke, drink, womanize or live a life of indebtedness where creditors will be chasing me up and down.
I decided to deliberately and conscientiously avoid any lifestyle that I saw around some of my people that were not dignifying and those decisions have really helped me.
THE REALITY TODAY
Most young people especially those from poor homes will choose their friends in place of their poor parents because they are ashamed of their parents. Many young people even deny their parents may be because of poor status or health challenge.
Many young people want everything to be easy for them. Many do not know that life is divided into phases.
They do not know that after darkness comes light. After poverty comes riches of they work hard.
But in all, God Factor is the ultimate.
~~~ MSC Wisdom Oniekpar Ikuli aka Mirror and Conscience of Society.
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