In Nigeria,
Christians will fight for their General Overseer
the way a mother hen fights for her chicks.
Say anything against Pastor
and they will turn into lions with Bible verses in their mouths.
But mention Jesus?
They will keep quiet,
as if He is just a neighbour they greet once in a while.,
a quiet neighborhood who never cause trouble.
The G.O. has now become the Holy of Holies,
He cannot be wrong,
perfect without blemish
at least in their eyes,
while Jesus, the faultless one,
is treated like an old church hymn nobody sings anymore.
Pastors are humans,
they make mistakes,
but the choir of sycophants will defend them anyway,
The followers turn them into flawless angels
They clap and defend him
even when he clearly makes mistakes
And here is the humour in the tragedy:
The same Pastor they defend
looks at them from his office sofa,
sipping imported coffee,
thinking,
"See this goat talking online for me,
doesn’t even know I made a mistake."
Religion in Nigeria has removed the thinking brains
from many heads.
A goat is better —
at least a goat knows when to stop eating grass
In this holy drama,
every crook with a shining suit and a Bible
becomes a prophet in the eyes of the crowd.
Big titles, big pulpits,
and big grammar turn these men of God into demigods.
Church members speak their names
the way villagers speak of dangerous spirits.
Pastor is untouchable.
Pastor is unquestionable.
Pastor is ... the god.
And the women… oh, the women.
The way some church women treat Pastor
can make a sober man laugh like drunken hyena,
They rush to obey Pastor’s every word
as if his voice is the direct ringtone from heaven.
But when the husband speaks?
It is like a weak generator that refuses to start ...
too much argument before it starts.
A woman can carry heavy load for Pastor
They can carry ten buckets of water for Pastor
without frowning,
but will complain about carrying a bucket of water
for her own husband.
She will cook Pastor’s favourite soup
with joy in her heart,
correct pepper fish with fresh scent leaves,
while her husband eats cold yam
and wonders why respect is now on spiritual transfer.
Let women remember —
Pastor is not God.
Pastor prays to God
the same way you pray to God.
Pastor’s “blessing hand”
is useless without God’s mercy.
It is better to mistakenly disrespect a man of God
than to keep pouring royal honour on him
while your own husband gets leftover love.
A husband is your lord in the home ,
Pastor will never be your lord there.
Nigerian Christian women,
stop making your husband jealous
by treating pastors like holy giants
while treating the man in your house
like borrowed furniture.
Care for pastors, yes —
show kindness, yes —
but whatever love you give Pastor,
give your husband in triple measure.
If Pastor gets one spoon of respect,
let your husband get the whole cooking pot.
Yet in the Sunday theatre,
women still lead the defence,
covering Pastor with their loyalty cloth
even when his utterances are off track
and his style is embarrassing, questionable
They stand before him
like court lawyers protecting corrupt politicians,
making him look like a god
instead of a human with flaws.
Truth is simple:
Only a foolish woman
will place Pastor higher than her husband.
But in this our country,
foolishness has become
holy behaviour in the church.
Pastor is king,
Pastor is master,
Pastor is the breathing idol of the age.
And the crowd worships with open eyes
but closed minds.
Pastor is only a man,
not the maker of the sky,
not the one who gives you breath at night.
Respect him, but remember,
his feet are made of clay,
his hands can make mistakes.
Give God your worship,
give your husband your full honour,
and keep your common sense in your pocket,
so no one turns you into a blind follower
in the name of faith.
EBIKABOWEI KEDIKUMO - writes for Ayakoromo Town, Delta State
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